Beard fans across the nation were faced with an excruciating decision Wednesday night: Watch the season finale of “Duck Dynasty” or Game 1 of the World Series? On the one hand, the Robertson’s of Duck Dynasty have made it (somewhat) cool again to sport long, scraggly beards. On the other hand, numerous members of the Boston Red Sox have too.
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Needless to say, there was a lot of channel hopping last night, and the beards won. The show was another classic and the game was won by the Sox.
Naturally, with so much beard action going on, we at Back9Network thought it to be a great time to test out the Duck Dynasty Beard Booth app on our favorite golfers — users are able to attach a trademark Duck Dynasty beard to a photo of themselves. These are the results. We apologize in advance.
Keegan Bradley:
A loyal Red Sox fan, Bradley’s all about supporting his team. It’s unfortunate to see so much gray in the beard when he’s only 27, but the stresses of playing golf for a living and supporting the teams in a town that has enjoyed the most sporting success of any in the U.S. over the past decade can apparently take a toll on a young man.
Rickie Fowler:
Full of flowing hair, of course Fowler is full of beard too. Some people just have great hair. Don’t be fooled into thinking Rickie’s new look is in support of the Sox, though. He’s a Cards fan, so clearly the chin fur is a result of his fondness for Duck Dynasty.
Jason Dufner:
What’s that hanging from that tree? Why, it’s PGA Champion Jason Dufner, of course. Dufner appears to be quite comfortable with his new healthy neck curtain. I think I speak for everyone when I say that this is a great look for the man who wouldn’t get excited by a fireworks show in his pants.
Phil Mickelson:
The reigning Open Championship winner never looked more humble and “oh gee golly” than he does with a fluffy new beard around his chin. If I didn’t know any better – and trust me, I don’t – I’d say Phil Mickelson would make one hell of a Santa Claus impersonator in a few years.
Tiger Woods:
Apparently when you throw a scraggly old beard on the chin of Tiger Woods, he instantly becomes a mischievous-looking golf ball wizard. That face means Tiger is definitely up to no good… or he just made a mess in his pants and won’t tell anyone. Let’s all hope for the former.
Rory McIlroy:
Now that’s just ridiculous. Although, if you throw a golden ring at Rory McIlroy in this photo and point him in the direction of Mordor, you’ve got yourself an Oscar-caliber achievement in modern cinema! You’ll also have a pissed off girlfriend in Caroline Wozniacki, but she’ll get over it. We promise.
Paulina Gretzky:
I don’t know about you, gents, but that is one hot-looking bearded daughter of a famous hockey player. I’m not sure if Paulina Gretzky is going to have much luck with most guys, but I’m willing to look past the beard and see her for her true beauty. That is, until new fiancé Dustin Johnson punches me in the face.
John Daly:
Here we have the pleasant scene of John Daly donning a new beard and Old Glory golf pants. You see those eyes? Those are crazy eyes, folks. Don’t get too close or he might slap a sponsorship patch on your face.
Michelle Wie:
Yikes. While I might not be the biggest fan of her golf game, I’m definitely not a fan of Michelle Wie sporting a beard like we see here. Although, the pink ponytail serves as a wonderful accent color to the entire ensemble, complete with a purple Nike cap and bug-eye sunglasses.
Louie Puppy:
Well ain’t that the cutest damn thing you’ve ever seen? Days after winning his PGA Championship, Jason Dufner snapped a photo of his adorable new puppy, Louie, sitting in the Wanamaker Trophy. Apparently the little guy is also a huge fan of “Duck Dynasty,” because of course he is. Trendy little pup, he is.
Caddyshack Gopher:
Then we have this bearded little rascal from the film “Caddyshack.” The most famous mascot in sports looks dashing with his new beard, even though he’s apparently still wreaking havoc on patrons of the Bushwood Country Club.
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